YOU'D BETTER COVER YOUR MOUTH

We have all heard that line from a mother to her children when they sneeze or cough in hopes of preventing the spread of germs, “You’d better cover your mouth.”

Being a baseball watchaholic I can’t help but "cover my mouth" to prevent blurting out expletives. I am really weary of seeing grown men on a baseball field use their big leather gloves for something besides a tool of the trade to catch baseballs. I have no idea when it started, but there are two scenarios that have become increasingly more common, and to a larger degree increasingly more ridiculous, with players shielding their mouths with their gloves.

The first is when a pitcher covers his face when in a strategic conversation with his catcher in front of the mound. We can see part of the pitcher’s face move with the obvious mouthing of words through his leather shield, but we can’t read his lips. Has baseball become so advanced in their scouting, and also so paranoid in their psyche, that pitchers fear the opponents will read their lips and communicate this info to the hitter before the next pitch? Correct me if I am wrong, but I don’t remember Sandy Koufax, Whitey Ford, or Bob Gibson speaking to their catcher with glove-in-face.

It must be pitchers have a lot more to say these days. Back in the day the catchers ran the show. They did most of the talking and the pitcher nodded, shook his head, or just listened with no response. If it was a star pitcher he just told the catcher to get back behind the plate and catch whatever was thrown. At some point in recent history pitchers must have been spewing so much valuable information that opponents evidently employed lip readers, thus forcing them to shield their face, right?

To illustrate how young kids want to mimic the pros without even knowing what they are doing, read on. While coaching a 13-14 year old baseball team this spring I had a 14 year-old who pitched and played infield. When he talked to his catcher on the mound he did the glove shield thing. OK, I let it go. I didn't want to show my age. But, when I had to use the youngster once as a catcher… he goes out to speak to his pitcher in front of the mound, he's still wearing his catcher’s helmet and mask and, you guessed it, he puts his catcher’s mitt up in front of his face. I burst out laughing, partly because it was a first in my life and I found it hilarious, and partly out of embarrassment. Hey…you have a helmet and mask on…you need a glove to block your face, too? Amazing.

The second reason you see pitchers put their glove up is to disguise a fit of Tourette’s syndrome. You see them uncontrollably barking out a string of "bleeps" while exiting the mound, heading to the dugout, in favor of a relief pitcher.

I don’t want to see a grown man try to fool us by attempting to camouflage his personal disgust. Who are they kidding? I can still see their slumped-shoulders, head down with eyes to the ground, which then leads to the flying of F-bombs and profanity that would make a gangster rap artist proud.

What happened to holding your breath for a few seconds as you work your way from the mound to the dugout, and then explode in a fit of rage by throwing your glove against the dugout wall, or knocking over the containers of David’s Sunflower Seeds and Double Bubble? That's how frustrated baseball players used to vent.

I guess Mom was right; you’d better cover your mouth kids. While you continue to shield your face and fire off swear words like an automatic weapon, I’ll try to not do the same. I know what you are doing behind that glove.